Me

2006-02-12T11:38:00.000-08:00

From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background,& that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas.

Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.
During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....
The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.
When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

dear if u cant speak. i shall be your voice. if you cant see. i shall be your eyes. if you cant hear. i shall be your ears. if you still love me. so will i do.

2006-02-12T11:35:00.000-08:00

Tree
===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf
===
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay

Wind
====
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away
It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.

2006-01-26T15:01:00.000-08:00

maybe its good time i take some time to find myself
i feel like a shell walking around.

2006-01-26T14:55:00.001-08:00

i been thinking all night
what kind of girl would i give my heart to
who she is and what she does
perhaps it is a dream
i think i found her
she places you ahead of everything else.
she tells you her darkest secret
she shares her life with you
even thou there is nothing to do, she just wants to be with you
even lying on the bed together looking at the ceiling fan is fun.
she comes to you crying whenever she cannot fix something
she doesnt expect you to solve it
she just wants you to listen to her whine
she loves u in the way you love her back
she is not pretty
she is not intelligent
she is not attractive
all she has = a heart of gold
even when the whole world doubts you.
she believes in you
she comes to you asking for money
she comes to you asking does this dress match her shoes
she asks whether you are hungry every now and then
she pays attention to your needs
she tries to be everything you want
she will give up everything just to be with you
she cooks maggie mee at night just for you , when u are hungry . even when shes asleep
she supports the football club that you support
she watches boring soccer matches just because you enjoy it
she enjoys snatching the tv controller with you
she farts when alone with you
she hugs you damn tightly
she greets you with a smile and kiss whenever you meet her
your house is her house
even if it smells like a rubbish dump.
when you are quiet. she tries to get you talking.
she ocassionally bites you for fun
she thinks you are more attractive than your computer
she gladly spends your money on clothes that she wear . and insist that it is for your face.
she will always trick you in believing that she is with your child and see that stupid face on your face
she will gladly be your child mother
she will not let you down
she cooks breakfast and dinner
she teaches your son how to do spelling
she canes them
she confiscates your CPF when you get them
she forces you to go play taiji with her
even when you are 70, she pulls you to try skydiving
she waits for you to return home

in return:
i will shower this girl with all my love
i will share everything i own with her
the only way to stop a quarel with her is a tight hug
i will fight for her even till the last breathe
i will not think of any other girl
i will not flirt around
unless it is harmless flirting
i will change myself into a better man
i will give in when she wants me to
i will complain to her when i have problem at work
i will give her all my money
cause i trust in her
she will have all access to my bank account
concubine is definetely out of the story
i will cook maggie mee for her when she is hungry
i will wash the plates with her
i will change the diapers for the kids
i will wake up in the middle of the night, kiss her lightly and go back to sleep
i will hug her everynight to sleep
i will protect her with all my might
i will provide her with everything material
i will not let her work
if i eat rice so will she
if i eat porridge den too bad she eat also
i will go through thick and thin with her
nothing will change my love for her
even one day she lies in the hospital
when she cant talk , cant see , cant feel
i will still love her and tell her what happened to me everyday
i will still spend the last cent of my money on her medication
i will take care of her till the last day i live on earth
i will treasure her like a bubble in my hand
i will treat her gently
i will never treat her for granted
i will take her out for dinner whenever i can make it
i will employ a maid for her
i will tell my son what a wonderful wife his mother has been
i will tell her i love her every morning when i wake up
and everynite b4 i sleep
even though she might be sleeping already
i will fetch her everywhere she wants
i will travel only with her around
i will not have fun and forget about her
i will be her personal trolley when she goes shopping
she can decide what i wear to work everyday
she can decide what i eat everyday
she has the right to bitch
she reserve the right to remain silent when i ask her for my socks
i will buy alot of socks and underwear for myself.
for her sake. i will take care of my face.
i will watch my weight
i will take her to wherever good food is
i will share with her the goods
i will lavish on her stuff
i will drive a sedan just to fetch her and the children around
i will make sure i dont get into accident
i will take good care of myself
because i dont wanna see her sad
i will buy alot of insurance in her name.
so she will be able to carry on her life if i was to die young
i write my will to her advantage
i will be a good father
i will be good to my family
i will buy her dogs so that she can walk them
when i am free, i will walk the dogs together with her
i will bring her to the beach
there will be many many honeymoons
i will decorate our room with her pics
my office will be full of her pics
she can even sack my secretary
there can only be one woman in my heart and it is her
i will buy her a big big diamond ring if i have the dough
i will get down on my knees only in front of her
i will not let her down
i will fulfill my promises to her. even if it takes a while
i will pay attention to what she says
i will sympahtise with her
i will respect her family
i will treat her with respect
i will reward her now and then with kisses and hugs
i will be her husband
i will do housework with her

2006-01-26T14:55:00.000-08:00

1. Watch the sunset together. 2. Whisper to each other. 3. Cook for each other. 4. Walk in the rain. 5. Hold hands 6. Buy gifts for each other. 7. Roses. 8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together. 9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight. 10. Write poetry for each other. 11. Hugs are the universal medicine. 12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it. 13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc. 14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie! 15. Spend every second possible together. 16. Look into each other's eyes. 17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly. 18. When in public, only flirt with each other. 19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking. 20. Buy her a ring. 21. Sing to each other. 22. Always hold her around her hips/sides. 23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal. 24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?) 25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart. 26. Dance together. 27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap. 28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it. 29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes 30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you. 31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them. 32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them. 34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears. 35. Be Prince Charming to her parents. 36. Brush her hair out of her face for her. 37. Hang out with his/her friends. 38. Go to church/pray/worship together. 39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked. 40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice. 41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her. 42. Make sacrifices for each other. 43. Really love each other, or don't stay together. 44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it. 45. Love yourself before you love anyone else. 46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages. 47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio. 48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other. 49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash. 50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."

2006-01-26T14:54:00.002-08:00

"I never loved you more cause I never loved you less, I dont love you now coz I will love you always, I dont just love you coz I love you more than "I love you" can say ..."

2006-01-26T14:54:00.001-08:00

"In your absence my heart grows stronger. In your presence I fall in love again."

2006-01-26T14:54:00.000-08:00

"If I could have 3 wishes, I wouldn't wish for the stars, the moon, the riches and this life. But for 25 hours a day, 8 days a week, and 13 months a year to spend a longer time with you."

2006-01-26T14:42:00.000-08:00

Everything in life is temporary because everythingchanges.
That is why it takes courage to love,
knowing it might end anytime...
having faith will make it last.